“I don’t have time for that!” you may balk to yourself.
How often do we resent our personal lives because someone else or ‘the world’ hasn’t made our lives easier. So that we are provided more time for leisure, niceties, and pleasure…
… and bitterly wishing for a savior, we get back to work in the man’s world to do the grind, push for successes and make s*** happen.
Dating, people and men come and go. You enjoy the positive aspects of single life. And pretend to not ‘need’ a relationship even though your heart would feel more complete with it.
The reality can seem like never-ending, increasingly hallowing reality filled with fun moments with friends and social media on the outside and a quiet home to return to.
It becomes so consistent, that a belief engrains that you’re living like this to survive and maintain. It is a necessary, and not-so-bad pain.
Now, it’s something you cannot compromise against. And, when you try to relate to men romantically – it starts to further bitters the scene.
It doesn’t feel 100% good to be in it, and it doesn’t feel great to pretend you’re not. It starts to feel like, well maybe – there just isn’t time to do this right at this time. right now.
If you’ve ever wondered how you can have it all – the professional and personal success, then read on.
4 QUICK STARTS TO HAVE LOVE AND A LIFE YOU LOVE TOO
**If you want more time for you AND better relationships, you’re going to have to put yourself in better mindsets and do this smartly!
Mindset shifts take moments to make. If you truly believe it, the actions will be easier to follow and quicker to do.
Listen to what resonates and work through what triggers you!
1) Use the time you do have effectively.
If your partner’s love language is physical touch – make an effort to take the extra 20 seconds to stand up, walk over and embrace your love when they enter or leave.
If it’s an act off service, ask them what might bring them most sense of peace and joy. Do it yourself or hire someone if you have to… for example, fixing a creaky door might really put you at peace where your partner would love your shoes put out of the way.
Point is – invest your small times into powerful actions (which can be predetermined!). Decide you have enough time to do something that matters.
2) Don’t make excuses
Putting things off doesn’t address the need to give attention where it matters.
Yes – even if it’s your make or break client / job / project.
Yes- even if it’s your kids.
Yes – even if you’re caring for a sick or old family member.
Yes – even if the dog made a huge mess.
Suck it up and have a “ugh, I’m an adult” moment. Life isn’t easy some times, but it’s making the space (and time) for what’s important that frees up more moments.
No excuses if it honestly means something important to your heart of hearts.
3) Be the leader. (Not the dictator)
If you want something in your relationship, advocate for it and invite your partner into better relating.
You’ll likely notice how being in graceful action is so much more effective than solution/demands mode.
Many women don’t want to be leader in their love life. Some prefer to let the man lead.
Others are afraid of being accused of being overbearing and bossy. Too driven…
Key word is INVITE. Not dictate.
Barking orders to make things happen quicker does not work. In love relationships especially, this actually makes things much longer, and by then you likely would have given up that this relationship is a dud!
Think of your leadership in a relationship as making a “culture shift” for it.
Your actions likely will inspire new behavior in others. Not to say it will be immediate. Because you can appreciate how noticing you should do differently and actually doing it are not always the same.
But with consistency, it will unfold over time with predictability.
Who cares who “should” be the one to do it first. If you get the results you want directly and collaboratively, it’s worth it.
4) Let priorities co-exist.
Just like you wouldn’t separate your leg from your arm, don’t do that to the life areas where you spend your time and energy.
We can’t exist well in silos for very long.
Instead, see your where you spend your energy as much an organism like you are.
Work maybe is the nervous system, love the heart, exercise the lungs, etc.
Point is, you need them all to keep living.
LIVE by giving space to have it all.
It’s a choice. And it’s yours to have!
Photo: David Clode