How To Move Past Stuck, Cyclical Patterns That Close Hearts & Connection

Are you sick and tired of the same drama happening over and over again?

It doesn’t seem to matter if you change your boyfriend or partner, detox your friends (and even some family members), or even where you live and hang out… 

…The same stories keep popping up. 

And it’s frustrating, at times infuriating or even depressing. 

Wouldn’t it be nice to finally move past these patterns and enjoy the enriched, connected future you can taste but just can’t seem to manifest in its entirety? (yet)

I invite you to pause and reflect even if you’re feeling the feelings.

Every interpersonal tension we feel is possible because there is something in the other that illuminates a similar tone present – and unresolved- within ourselves.

Before you lock your heart and isolate yourself from feeling anything to avoid the hurt…

Make a stand.

No victims here. No need to blame, judge or correct another.

Especially if you decide to focus on what we can control – ourselves and our relationship to the emotions that arise.

This part within ourselves get triggered when others have a thread of commonality on a theme we honestly need to find some more peace and neutrality about… Some may call it our shadow, others our demons, others our past, or even karma.

Here’s one way how I like to break free of the prisons of my own being (and creating if I decide to stay in victim/blame mode):

Self Practice for An Enriched, More Connected Future
Search earnestly within yourself for any attachments – mental, emotional, sexual, energetic, physical (think provisions of home, safety and well-being) in relation to your feelings.

You can think of this like a scan or metal detector. You have the emotion present (but a bit detached and you imagine it going over parts of your body, psyche, or living spaces ‘detecting’ where that same feeling also is present.

Notice where with others you feel angry (crossed boundaries), sad, or any other emotional charge. Then look for that same theme or pattern in your own body. 

When you find it, decide to make a relationship with it.

Show it your intentions for a higher expression.

Allow it space to exist. But not in you anymore.

Invite it to evolve with you or moved out of your body and presence with love. Let it release to the heavens or return back to the earth. 

Notice how you feel in your body now. How you feel about the other or situation you’re in. Do you feel clearer? Might you be more neutral to diffuse the tension and help move through it better now? What might that look like?

Then the follow through…
help create a different or less intense future. Piece by piece. Moment by moment.

Engage with the triggers and the annoying person who stirs them up within you as an opportunity. Find even deeper peace, a more empowered control of your happiness and emotions, and better boundaries that usually follow such bold, courageous actions.

Make it a possibility to embrace that cycle with new eyes. A way that has been diffused by your interactions with it already.

You’re empowering a new story to exist. A healthier one that values you and helps evolve you and the lucky ones who get to relate to you. 

You are the force of good and a leader in even the smallest but internally big moments. Cheers to you, my friend!

Photo: Erlend Ekseth

Share your thoughts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.