Do you worry that you might let yourself down?
Don’t fall into the “should of / could of’s” trap…those voices can haunt you. How can you get out of this deprecating pattern and feel FULLY FREE of it?
A little secret – it has to do with the standards you set for yourself.
This Week’s Considerations is inspired by the Capricorn energy afoot with 4 major planets there, especially in light of the calendar new year.
Below, I share my advice on how to feel more fulfilled in your day-to-day life instead of the quick highs society’s standards would have you create.
1) Write This Out! (Make It Real, Not Just a Fleeting Thought)!
Here’s the deal – you know better than to hold yourself accountable to unreasonable standards or to be tough on yourself for situations out of your control.
Yet it happens… you make a misstep and beat yourself up. Your mind loops backs the responses you could had made, missed opportunities…
If you want to free yourself from obsessions you can do nothing about – you’re going to have to train yourself how to.
You’re going to be prompted to journal this week. It is the one thing you cannot cheat on. Write it out.
I’ll help you explore what to write below, but let me emphasize why.
When you write anything out, you begin to process and integrate the content in a different way than thinking alone can produce.
When you write it out, you can see it. Visual information engages your brain in another way, and it helps you synthesize and deepen this information you’re creating.
That’s why you’ll want to review your writing regularly – put them on your bathroom mirror, or make them simple enough to just jot down in a journal when you wake up every day.
Like an athlete trains their body to move in perfect coordination, you have to train your mind to overwrite your indoctrinated standards to the ones you want to own.
Get a journal, and write these out. If you don’t, your thoughts below will be pretty worthless… just another mindless chatter of “that’d be nice” instead of the commitments and integration you deserve to make yourself even better.
2) Emotional Standards: The Key To Your Likability and Other Success
It’s dangerous to discount the importance of your emotional intelligence and not be accountable to it.
Your ability to connect to someone is instrinctly related to your success in life.
Your ability to listen, ask questions, and engage with others is the key to your interpersonal likability.
You need people – and people on your side – to get anywhere meaningful or contributing in your life.
I’m not making this up, check it out!:
“Giving someone our full, undivided attention is fundamental to our business and interpersonal relationships,” — Jack Bennett, Ph.D.
“What’s more, people who are good listeners are more liked, rated as more attractive and garner more trust than those who are less proficient at listening” — Graham D. Bodie, professor at LSU.
Value and develop your emotional intelligence. Use it as one of your most powerful assets to your personal toolbelt.
Picture the emotional nature of your interpersonal relationships if there were no time limit. Journal about the quality of your communication, the way your body expresses, the senses and feelings that are open to you.
Summarize this in a few words to which you can reply, “Yes” or “No” with compassion at the end of your day. (e.g. Was I available, open, and understanding to the best of my ability today in my interpersonal relationships?)
3) Physical Standards – The Body
Physical health is a dynamic interplay between diet, exercise, and “wellness.”
For the more spiritually developed, it can be hard to feel connected to this inhabited mass that brings you into your daily life.
However without your physical body, you would not be afforded the opportunities to do uplifting things, to enjoy simple earthly pleasures, and to grow with the new ideas and interactions that life brings you.
Your feet, literally step-by-step, carry you into the next adventure, your ongoing responsibilities, and the freedom of expression you seek every single day on earth.
Your whole body orchestrates itself, so you can step forward into your life.
Recognize the importance your physical body holds.
Yet even if you can achieve the perfect body, it’d be for nothing without the spiritual life that sparkles within it.
Make your body’s work to be a beautiful house for your spirit, and make your spirit strong to be your best for as long as your physical existence can carry you.
Write standards for your physical body that recognize how your body and spirit work together.
Go ahead and define ideal situations for diet, an exercise routine, and the wellness space you create to take care of your body’s needs.
Push yourself further for each. Make reasons “why” diet, exercise, and wellness are good for you. Make them compelling by how it makes you feel and who you suspect to be attracted to your circle by your heightened sense of vitality.
Now, go back on what you wrote and be practical about it. Where is the appropriate spectrum of stress to make this all happen in order to take good care of your body.
Summarize your insights into a bottom line to which you can reply, “Yes” or “No” with compassion at the end of your day. (e.g. Did I respect the needs of my physical body today in nutrition, movement, and rest today?)
4) Physical Standards – Your Life’s Work at the Daily Level
You have your whole life to accomplish what you set out to do.
Only thing is that sometimes your spirit only lets you onto the first part of the “do good” before revealing more of your innate potential.
Meaning, you could be playing small without even knowing it! So how can you hold yourself up to do your best?
Hold standards of excellence to be in your best, true self every day.
Your best self feels unique, it expresses an identity that is integrated with a physical and unseen reality. It’s that “something special” about you.
If every day you felt that “something special” turned on, you would feel like you’re on the right path. Why is that?
Linear time exists, but the order of life events is often non-linear.
For example, there was no reason I’d learn French in 5th grade in a community that was predominantly Irish, Polish, German and Italian. Yet, this skill became essential for me over a decade later when my boyfriend-later-husband’s family came into the picture and only spoke French.
You have to trust that what is happening has a purpose, a flow, and a throughline. It may not add up to a rational order that project timelines could have you follow.
So if things aren’t going the way you expect in timelines, then you have your “something special” to rely on to trust you’re on the right path.
When your “something special” is on, you are you. That deep sense of self can never change, despite life experience and an aging body.
It’s impossible to doing something meaningless if you feel truly engaged with your inner essence at that moment.
What makes you you, is a wonder that can be felt, captured, and lived every single day.
I guarantee you’ve had it at some point in your life. I want you to find it spark every day.
In this way, you can do your life’s work every day indirectly. And in a week’s time – or a month’s time – you can appreciate the sum of what results that produces.
Reflect back on a moment where you felt completely alive and energized by your inner essence – that spark of “something special” within you.
Journal about it. Describe how you felt, where you felt it in your body… how did you know that was it?
What brings you there?
Get to know yourself recognizing your best self.
Summarize these characteristics then ask yourself daily, “Was I me today?”
For every week and every month, write a question to appreciate what you being you produced for that time period. (e.g. When I was truly myself this past week, I was able to ____).
Whatever is your prompt, make a calendar or phone reminder to ask yourself it.
5) Spiritual Standards – Live Your Life, Then Discover Meaning (Hint: You Must Do Both!)
Even if you meditate every day, you can live a dead spiritual life.
A spiritual practice of any sort is not a surefire means to get in touch and develop your spiritual aptitude.
Your physical life is the playing field for your spiritual side to experience, understand, and ultimately grow.
Without engaging in your physical life – people, environments, and events – your spiritual life has little chance for significant growth.
It is only after these rich nuggets of real-world experience that your spiritual wisdom can be triggered to make sense of it all – and furthermore, heal!
That is where meditation and all spiritual practice comes in. You reflect on your actions and you see how you can learn from it personally… and maybe even globally.
How can your experience apply to someone in another location, culture, or gender? What is universal about this?
As you depart from the emotional baggage of your life’s experience and enter more and more into a collective appreciation for the interconnected play of all life, in all its forms, your spiritual life gets enhanced.
And I find, the more integrated you are to your spiritual self (especially on the more global aspects), the more your physical life opens up. Opportunities seem to appear before you – life becomes synchronous to the openings of consciousness you already created within yourself.
Reflect on how much you engage or take a witness’ role your life. Do you tend to force things, or do you prefer to wait for thing to happen to you? Feel where on that scale your higher self actually operates best.
Now reflect on what helps you create mental space to process, integrate, and apply a more global understanding to your personal experience. Is it meditation? Walks? Journaling?
Simplify these findings on how you develop your spiritual self – both in the way you engage in your physical life and in the way you reflect and grow from your worldly experiences.
Now create 1-2 prompts to summarize these insights into a bottom line to which you can reply, “Yes” or “No” with compassion at the end of your day. (e.g. Did I take enough initiative today? Have I related my experiences from today to a greater understanding of myself or the world?)
6) Putting It Together – Your True Standards
Remember to write this down and train yourself to be accountable in ways productive for your ability to keep going with the meaningful stuff.
Sure, paying bills, doing chores, and taking care of more mundane responsibilities take time. But don’t let them distract from the simple ways you can feel like you’re making progress.
Every single one of these standards I ask you to set up for yourself here has the potential for a ripple effect to positively affect the world.
When you are showing up as a human being and emotionally connect to someone, you are reinforcing the positive potential of your humanity and the peace that is possible.
When you respect the function, endurance, and flexibility of your physical body to take you into your life’s experiences, you open yourself up to live more and to shine more brightly from within. That charisma inspires others to step up.
When you are being you, you are living in your truth. There is no wrong, there is just you on the path of where you need to be. You can trust that everything does have a purpose and that it will come together in due time. That’s confidence!
When you’re engaged with your life, your spiritual wisdom can bring on a collective awareness. Through this energy of consciousness, you light up other souls to be more awake in their physical lives.
Commit to standards like these that speak the language of your soul’s path here on earth. In the end, that’s what will make your spirit sing – today until the end of your days.
Astrological Day Guides: December 26 2017 – January 1, 2018
Read these guides as a whole to get a feel for the week’s tone. There’s always some overlap of themes. Then read them as you need them, day-by-day.
Tuesday – Invigorated with new enthusiasm, channel your energy to doing something that excites you. Let yourself see where your impulses lead you, especially if it’s related to a bigger idea you have.
(Aries Moon – First Quarter. Moon trine Mercury).
Wednesday – Be careful of blowing things out of proportion. Your compulsion can lead to permanent endings, so hold back to make those kind of adjustments intentional. Time to put you first, trusting your good nature will never lead you astray. Time to make your actions match the dream. Hint: it rarely starts off flawlessly.
(Aries Moon, void course at 3:57pm EST until early Thursday 1:23am EST. Moon-Pluto square and Moon-Uranus conjunction. Mars-Neptune Trine approaching overnight).
Thursday – Pleasant day to get things done and feel productive in a way that makes you feel wholesome. Meaning, you’re working to live and enjoy life. If you have a hard time feeling good about yourself at the end of the day, you might want to start looking at your mental naysayers and working on those.
(Taurus Moon trines Saturn, Venus, and Sun and sextiles Neptune before opposing Mars).
Friday – Last day of the work year. Review the advice posted on Weekly Considerations the past three weeks on the internal calibrations to make the most of the new year. Moon is void all day, so it’s perfectly aligned for the inward journey and to wrap up loose ends for yourself.
(Void of Course Moon all day).
Saturday – Be flexible in your approach today so you can get more accomplished. You might receive pushback, and it could weaken your confidence. Let the day pass and trust you’ll find better support in the near future. It’s a day designed to more light-hearted than serious.
(Moon in Gemini with quincunx aspects to Saturn, Venus, Sun and Mars into Sunday. Moon also squares Neptune).
Sunday – At a crossroads, like every last day of the year, you can feel shifty on your direction for next year. A lot of choices will be available to dramatically adjust how you see yourself and what your contribution looks like in the world. How will you walk the walk? Are you ready to estrange yourself from what you know and who you know for something you really believe in?
(Gemini Moon until 6:38pm EST, quincunx aspects to Mars, Jupiter and Pluto. Moon also opposes Mercury and sextiles Uranus).
Monday – Sensitive and energized, your Day 1 of 2018 is charged with emotional swings and a desire to do your best. Your past is a shadow you can sense, but that doesn’t mean it casts the light for your tomorrow. Take time to make moves and also give yourself exit options in case it gets too intense… you know, like a crab (Cancer) would do.
(Void Moon until just after midnight, EST – 12:11am. Moon in Cancer. Venus bQ True Node, Mercury-Pluto semisextile).